I never imagined that my greatest struggle in ministry would be fear—not of failure, but of stepping out. I didn’t commit scandalous sins, but I let fear silence my obedience. I doubted God’s ability to use me, questioned His goodness, and gave up on assignments He had already equipped me for.
The Journey of Surrender
There were moments I said yes. I took first steps. But somewhere along the way, I let insecurity win. I saw my limitations and forgot that God delights in availability more than perfection.
Scripture pierced my heart:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” —Proverbs 3:5
I leaned on my understanding. I measured my worth by outcomes.
But God reminded me:
“Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit,” says the Lord. —Zechariah 4:6
Turning Point
In the quiet, God didn’t shame me. He invited me back.
He whispered: “Return to Me, for I have redeemed you.”
—Isaiah 44:22
I realized that grace isn’t just for the fallen—it’s for the hesitant, the weary, the ones who almost gave up.
Today, I choose to trust again. To say yes again. To believe that my story—marked by doubt—is also marked by grace.
And if you’re reading this, maybe God is calling you too. Not because you’re perfect, but because He is.
“Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will do it.”
—1 Thessalonians 5:24
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